so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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