Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
