i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I cannot find my penis.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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