But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
