ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize