My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
