I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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