just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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