I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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