Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
