Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
