How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
