How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
