You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
