Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
