Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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