She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
