tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
