I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize