yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
