he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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