He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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