i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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