Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
