Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
