My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize