I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
