The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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