The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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