one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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