I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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