So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
