Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize