apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
