I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
