Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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