# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
