doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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