He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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