Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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