woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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