Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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