I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
