i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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