Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
