I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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