Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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