I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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