We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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