should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize