Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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