Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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