she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
