i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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