someone get that fucking seahorse.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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