just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
