All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just want to make out with him forever
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
