I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize