Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
