Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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