You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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