Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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