we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
