Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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