Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
