I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
