Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
