all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
