I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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