we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
