Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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