They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
