i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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