If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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