I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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