remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
