I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
